Mid-Life What?!

If you would have asked me a few years ago "At what age does one have a mid-life crisis?," I would have said around 50.  Well, I'm not 50, but I'm pretty sure I'm muddling through what seems to be a mid-life crisis.  Now, I haven't traded in my family car for a sporty convertable or anything like that, but I am definitely having those feelings of transition. 

When I was a child, I had a vision of what my life would be like.  I imagined myself living in a big house out in the country with lots of kids.  I imagined being super involved with school and activities and church.  I imagined hanging out with great friends and family.  I imagined feeling peace and joy and completeness.

So here I am.  I live in one of the biggest cities in the US.  I have 3 kids partly because I couldn't handle more, but partly because living in LA, I couldn't afford more.  My family is a plane ride away, as well as some of my greatest friends.  I am definitely busy with school and activities, yet they are a lot more stressful than I envisioned.  Serving in the church is something that has brought me a lot of joy, but I am constantly feeling inadequate. 

Life is just harder and more confusing than I ever thought it would be.  I find myself searching for more.  I have never really felt like this in my life before.  I just feel like there is something more I need to do, but I'm not quite sure what it is.  It has been weighing me down.  

So now I am trying to trudge through this "rough patch" without going too far off the deep end (don't worry, I am not going to high tail it to the nearest body piercing parlor...and believe me, I wouldn't have to go far).  I think it will involve a little letting go (especially of some of the unrealistic expectations I may have), and a lot of soul searching...

(Me, back in the day...after marriage, but before babies)

   

Tyson {HEARTS} Money

Tyson is obsessed with money.

 

I don't know when it started.

I don't know when it will end.

 

And I'm not quite sure how to deal with it.

Here's a little about how Tyson's money obsession has payed off...with more money:

Tyson will want something from the store.  He'll want it for a LONG time.  Somehow he'll manage to either get enough money to buy it or get it given to him as a gift.  Shortly after he gets whatever it is that he wants so badly, he decides he doesn't like it anymore and wants to SELL it.  Usually, I just make him keep it since he wanted it so badly, but this time he asked Dad.  

Last year Tyson was in love with anything Pokemon.  Over the course of the year he accumulated A LOT (385 to be exact) of Pokemon.  When he decided he wanted to sell them, I thought "NO!!  You loved them so much, you should keep them."  Well, Dad had a different plan.  Before I knew it, those two boys were on eBay creating an account and over-pricing their (I mean Tyson's) Pokemon collection.

One week later, they were walking to the post office and filling Tyson's piggy bank.  

 

(All he has left of Pokemon is this shirt...well, and $52!!)

 

 So now what new thing with he want to buy with his money??

My Manly Man

I didn't realize until recently that one of the best things about being married, is to have a MAN around...to do stuff...man stuff.

One day after getting home from Canada, my hubby checked into the hospital to have shoulder surgery.  That means that for the past two weeks, he hasn't been able to do anything with his right arm--nothing, not anything!!  He hasn't been able to take out the garbage, replace our car battery, carry the laundry downstairs, drive to work, tie his shoes, or even open his pain meds.

I honestly didn't realize how much I need a MAN around to help out...at least he still brings home a paycheck:)

(I think Mike misses doing his MAN duties too)

Sister Sister

I grew up with 3 sisters.  We had our squabbles, but for the most part we were great friends.  We shared rooms, we did each others hair, we borrowed clothes, we shared secrets, we stood up for each other, we took care of each other, and we leaned on each other.  I love my sisters and I would do anything for them.  

(My sisters and I July 2011)

When in July 2003 I gave birth to my second daughter, I was thrilled to have two little girls who would be best friends.  Well, that's not exactly how it worked out...yet anyways.  From the time Kya was old enough to exercise her independence, she and Jordan were at odds.  Jordan wanted to play princess, Kya couldn't care less about princesses.  Jordan wanted to play dress up, Kya absolutely hated to dress up.  Jordan wanted to sing and dance, Kya wanted to dig in the dirt...you get the idea.  You couldn't find two more different little girls.  There were times when the girls played brilliantly together, but as they got older, their "likes" got further apart. 

(Jordan and Kya September 2003)

(Kya and Jordan September 2005)

Shortly after we moved to LA (2008), I decided to move Jordan out of Kya's room and Tyson moved in.  Somehow, it seemed that Tyson and Kya had more in common than the two girls.  Jordan absolutely loved having her own room, with her carefully placed jewelery and decorations that nobody would bother.  Everything seemed to be great, until we noticed that the girls seemed to be slowly drifting further and further apart...not to mention Tyson and Kya were getting a little old to have a boy/girl room sharing arrangement.

When I brought up the idea of Kya and Jordan sharing a room again, Jordan was VERY against it.  She was so against it, that every time we discussed it, the conversation would end in tears.  Jordan didn't want to share a room, and Tyson was too scared to be in a bedroom alone.  So, we waited...a year to be exact.  When I brought the idea up again, Tyson was no longer scared to have his own room, but Jordan was still set against it.

(Kya and Jordan June 2010)

Once Mike and I decided the girls needed to be back in the same room, we presented it to Jordan in the best way possible.  We told her, that after our trip to Canada, we were switching room--end of story.  I explained to her that since she was starting Middle School, sharing rooms would be a great way for her and Kya to spend some time together.  Of course, she still didn't like the idea, but she was less resistant.  Finally, I promised that when we switched, we could paint the girls room...any color they wanted.

This had the exact effect we were hoping for.  I watched the girls bond as they studied paint swatches, discussed where to put their beds and how to decorate their walls.  By the end of painting day, the girls were cranking up the Ihome and dancing in their "new" room.  I think it was worth all the hours of moving furniture, painting and taping the room, and endless cleaning.  Maybe my girls will become BFFs after all...at least that's what I'm hoping for:)

(Jordan's white board...she wrote this to place in their new room)

(Jordan, Miley, and Kya in their newly painted room)

 

(Kya in her new room--look at that PURPLE wall!!)

 

(Jordan wondering if she's going to like sharing a room with her sister...I think so!)

Definitely Not on Vacation Anymore

We've been home from vacation for less than a week, and I feel like I haven't had a minute to relax although, I have barely left the house.  Here's what's been going on:

Instead of swimming, I've been scrubbing:

Coming home to a house that a man has been living in for a month without his wife and family is never a pleasant thing:)  Everything looks dirty.  While Mike did keep the general house tidy looking, the sink had a few dishes in it, the fridge was full of food I had bought 5 weeks earlier, the shower and toilets looked like they had been left unattended for months!  So my first day home was spent scrubbing the showers, disinfecting the toilets, emptying and wiping out the fridge and filling the dishwasher!!  I'd rather be swimming:)

 

Instead of picnicking, I've been painting:

 Before we went on vacation, we decided that we would switch the kids' rooms.  In order to convince Jordan to give up her very own room and go back to sharing with her sister (blog post to follow), I promised a room "make over."  So I took the kids to Home Depot, let them pick their color and painted their bedroom.  Painting takes A LOT more work than I ever anticipated!!  I would, most definitely, rather be picnicking.

 

Instead of hiking, I've been helping Mike with his exercises:

We got home from Canada Wednesday evening.  Thursday morning (6:30am) Mike went in for shoulder surgery.  It was arthroscopic surgery, to repair an 80% torn rotator cuff and a laberal tear.  When I picked him up from the hospital Thursday afternoon, we were given a list of exercises that I was to help Mike with (since he isn't allowed to lift his arm on his own).  So now, not only do I need to help Mike with everything he needs to do (did I mention it was his right arm and it is VERY painful and he's on pain meds that make him loopy and sleepy??), but I need to do exercises with him 3 or 4 times a day too.  I don't really mind doing these things for someone who works everyday doing things for me, but I'm sure he'd rather be hiking...especially in the most beautiful place on earth (Canada, in case you were wondering).

 

Instead of steeping in, I've been setting my alarm:

 One of my favorite things about being on vacation is that I don't "have" to get up at any certain time.  I love that I can stay up chatting with my parents or hanging with friends or visiting with my sisters and I don't have to worry about being too tired the next day.  Since I've been back I've had to take Mike to the hospital at 6:30am. get all my kids up and ready to go to ward counsel with me at 7:45am, go to early morning physical therapy...you get idea.  The problem is...I am still staying up late!!  I wish I was still sleeping in!

Instead of karaoke, I've been cooking: 

One of the best perks about staying with my parents is my mom's cooking.  Between my sisters' cooking, my mom's cooking and eating out, I think I only cooked maybe one or two lunches the entire time we were on vacation (and it was probably frozen pizza or hot dogs).  Instead I spent my time playing and having fun and...singing karaoke.  We had great fun embarrassing ourselves.  I'm not sure if I'd rather be singing karaoke or not:)

 

 Instead of hanging out with family, I've been having withdrawals:

 The hardest thing about my vacation coming to an end, is saying good bye to all my "Canadian" family.  I asked the kids if they wanted to go to the park the other day and just about burst into tears thinking about how much more fun it would with with my sisters and their families.  I miss them all so much already...

 

 

 

 

 

 

When's my next vacation??