The Story of Duck Dynasty

Down a quiet private drive in suburban America lives a nice normal family.  They have 4 well-behaved children, two adorable tabby cats, 4 well maintained (and safely driven) cars, and kind, respectful friends.  They bought their brand new home in the spring of 2017.  The family shared this private drive with two other houses.  In the 4 years since living in their home, the family rarely saw more than 2 of the occupants of the other houses (there were 5 people living in those houses, they were told).  One of the houses nobody was ever seen entering or leaving...suspicious to say the least.  But there was one man, always watching, always lurking and always angry.  The family called him Duck Dynasty (because he looked like that guy from that Duck Dynasty show).

As the family moved into their house, Duck Dynasty put up signs: "No parking" "Speed limit 5mph" "Slow Down" "Private Property" "Do Not Enter."

When the family had company, Duck Dynasty would come out yelling at their friends:  "Slow Down" "Don't park there" "Move your car" "Get off my property."

When the family would go outside they would get lectures: "You drive too fast" "You need to tell your kids to slow down" "Your cars are too loud coming down the street at night and it wakes us up" "You need to tell your friends they can't park here" "You're parking is causing the concrete to break down."

As days went by, more signs would appear.  Then tree branches, pots, and orange cones were placed to block the family from parking.  

When a storm hit the town, a few trees from Duck Dynasty's yard fell down making a huge mess of branches and debris.  Nobody cleaned it up.  When the Father of the family asked if he could help clean it up, Duck Dynasty replied that he wanted to leave it so the family would stop parking there.

Every time the Mom would drive down that potentially peaceful private drive, she would feel anything but peaceful.  She would feel sorrow and sadness, frustration and anger.  She avoided Duck Dynasty, afraid that if she was left to confront him, she would lose her cool.

Then one day a sign appeared at the end of the private drive.  A sign that was not put there by Duck Dynasty.  A sign with a proposed development of Duck Dynasty's property.  He was leaving!  And, as he made it very clear to the father, he was leaving "because he couldn't stand living next to the family."  

Well, the family finally had peace.  There was glorious peace for at least 6 months.   

Look how many friends they could have over!

Then the family watched with slight satisfaction as the two houses were smashed into heaps of rubble on the ground...all while in the back of their mind, they knew 20+ new neighbors were headed their way.  But none could be as bad as Duck Dynasty...right?!  

Demolition Day

All cleared out!  Peace at last:)